Unfortunately, we’ve all heard the story: a talented colleague leaves a fantastic company, not for a better job, but to escape a toxic leader. It’s a tale as old as the corporate world itself, and sadly, it’s still playing out in workplaces today. Despite a growing awareness of the importance of company culture and employee well-being, many organizations continue to struggle with “bad bosses” who undermine morale and drive away their most valuable people.
This week’s quote from Simon Sinek addresses it head on: “Leaders with toxic behaviors thrive on controlling people instead of inspiring them.”
Toxic leadership is a pervasive issue that can manifest in many forms, from overt bullying and public humiliation to more insidious actions like micromanaging, creating a climate of fear, or undermining team members behind the scenes. This constant need for control stifles creativity and prevents employees from taking ownership of their work. Instead of building a supportive environment where people feel safe to take risks and learn from mistakes, a toxic leader prioritizes their own power and perceived authority, often at the expense of their team’s mental health and well-being. This can lead to high turnover, burnout, and a complete lack of innovation within an organization.
True leadership, in contrast, is an act of service. It’s about empowering your team and trusting them to make decisions. It’s about providing the resources and support they need to succeed, and then getting out of their way. Great leaders understand that their success is directly tied to the success of their team, and they find fulfillment not in controlling others, but in watching them grow and achieve their full potential. They see their role as a mentor and guide, fostering an environment where every voice is heard and valued, and where collaboration is celebrated over competition.
How to Avoid Being a Toxic Leader (and How to Change If You Are)
- Listen more, talk less. Instead of dominating conversations, make it a practice to actively listen to your team’s ideas, concerns, and feedback. Ask open-ended questions like, “What are your thoughts on this?” or “How do you think we can solve this problem?” and genuinely consider their input. This shows respect and encourages a culture of psychological safety.
- Give credit where it’s due. When a project succeeds, publicly and genuinely acknowledge the specific contributions of each team member. Avoid using “I” when talking about team achievements and use “we” instead. This builds trust, boosts morale, and shows that you value your team’s efforts more than your own ego.
- Focus on coaching, not just criticism. When providing feedback, shift your focus from pointing out flaws to guiding growth. Use a constructive, forward-looking approach. Instead of saying, “You did this wrong,” try saying, “Let’s talk through how we can improve this process for next time.” Frame challenges as learning opportunities, not as personal failures.
- Share power and delegate effectively. A controlling leader holds all the cards. An inspiring leader knows how to delegate tasks and responsibilities, giving team members the autonomy to make decisions and lead their own projects. Start by entrusting a team member with a small but significant task and offer your support, not your oversight. This builds their confidence and allows you to focus on strategic leadership.
- Be a leader, not a boss. A boss gives orders; a leader guides, mentors, and supports. A boss relies on their title for authority; a leader earns respect through their actions. Think about the kind of leader you would want to work for and strive to embody those qualities every day.
If you’re looking to transform your leadership approach and build a truly inspiring team, I highly recommend “Dare to Lead” by Brené Brown. Brown’s work on vulnerability and courage directly relates to Sinek’s quote. It shows that the most effective leaders aren’t those who control from a place of fear, but those who are brave enough to be vulnerable, show empathy, and build trust—the very things that inspire and empower people to do great work.